Not being on theme is drastically more noticeable at a sex party.
Orgies are intimidating, and you're definitely going to have a lot of, um, new
experiences the first time you go to one. Don't let that scare you off!
Here are 10 ways to seem like sex parties are so old hat for you.
1. Get new underwear.
Buy it, borrow it, or make it out of yarn and a clutch purse. You need
to walk into that place feeling confident and every little bit helps —
even the little bit that covers your littlest bits.
2. Do your research.
Talk to people who have gone to the party before and ask specific
questions. Scout it out online. In most metropolitan areas, there are
sex parties for people who identify in many different ways. You might
have to discuss something you don't normally discuss with a friend, an
acquaintance, your local sex shop employee, or even a stranger. But if
you're not willing to put yourself out there with your clothes ON, a sex
party probably is not going to work out for you.
3. Follow the rules.
The first rule of sex party is go to a sex party with rules. Any sex
party worth your time will have rules that particularly involving safety
and consent — namely that both are a must. They might have other less
critical rules about where you can store your belongings, whether you
must check items of clothing before entering, or even suggested costumes
— it's good to adhere to those regulations as well. Not being on theme
is drastically more noticeable at a sex party. Remember when you didn't
wear green on St. Patrick's Day? In this case "green" is "pants."
4. Bring a friend.
Or bring two, or ten. It is a party after all. If you don't feel
comfortable rolling into the sextravaganza with a minivan's worth of
pals, shoot for just one other person. Some parties even require you to
bring someone to help promote responsibility, which just confirms the
fact that the buddy system will never stop being relevant to your life.
Even if they don't require it, having a friend to talk to can help ease
you into this new environment. If you don't have one, make one in line
to get inside! Remember this is a sex party, not the U.S. Women's Soccer
Team: there is no hope solo.
5. Be open-minded.
That doesn't mean do something that makes you feel unsafe. In fact, you
don't have to do anything at all. Some people go to sex parties just to
watch and that is totally cool with everyone. However, don't let your
inhibitions cause you to judge others or to limit your experience
either. Check your reservations where you probably were asked to check
your pants, at the door.
6. Speak up.
Talk to people — it's the best way to meet more of them. Don't be shy
about telling them it's your first time at this type of party; it's a
great ice-breaker. Either it's their first time too and you can bond
over that, or they're a sex party veteran with tons of information to
share. Win-win. Also, if you don't like something someone is saying — or
doing — absolutely speak up then as well. Talking is truly the unsung
hero of the sex party, so please verbally sexpress yourself.
7. Make the first move.
You may not be used to being forward, but you're most likely going to
have to do it. What's great about a safe, rules-having sex party is
nothing will happen that you don't make happen. So, make it happen.
8. Choose your footwear wisely.
Sure, you want to look good. Just remember you might not be wearing any
pants. Pick shoes that flatter a clothing-free look and protect you
from questionable floors.
9. Be careful in hallways. If your body is not covered with clothing, certain parts might protrude. The same goes for others. Pass with caution.
10. LOL, literally.
Don't be afraid to crack a smile or a joke. Sometimes a "sexy"
atmosphere can leave people stiff. Relax, enjoy yourself, and have a
laugh. It should be pretty easy to do so. Most parties are BYOB or serve
alcohol, so there's plenty of social lubricant. Also, it's a sex party
so there's plenty of actual lubricant. Once you make that killer joke
about lube, things will probably go pretty smoothly.
